DS3 Blogging

My thoughts from the Campus Minister's Retreat

- It is said that St. Francis would leave Assisi when things became too hectic at the monastery, and he also insisted that all of the friars take time off for hermit retreats.

- Our ministry is help college students (and young adults) become aware of their vocation.

- The unique thing about Wesley's philosophy of ministry in the 18th century was that he believed that there was a method by which we developed as disciples versus it just happening by becoming a member of the Church. He was persecuted for this belief and way of leading people.

- My definition of Theology: The ever-evolving (or maturing) philosophy of who the Triune God is and how He acts in the world, based on scripture, witnessed by the Spirit and given context through our faith communities and culture.

- Someone's definition of 'Shalom': Nothing missing, nothing lacking, and nothing broken.

- When does a disciple become an apostle? If discipleship really happens, wouldn't apostleship be an obvious next step?

Haiti Reflection #3: A Black Man in Haiti

On the first real morning in Haiti, one of the RMI guys asked Greg (our trip leader) if I was Haitian. I was shocked by this at first because I assumed that I obviously looked American. During our trip, someone in the village would walk up to me and ask me a question in Creole. I always responded with 'I do not speak Creole, I am sorry'. Most would give me a strange look at first, then smile with an 'Oh yeah' kind of expression. The most ironic moment was during our children's program when a little girl, no more than 4 years old, comes straight to me, speaking in Creole, with what looks like a small crisis going on in her head. The irony is that Amy Long, a white girl who knows a little bit of Creole, immediately stepped in and the little girl forgot all about me. I thought it would be obvious that I was not Haitian, but apparently, that was not always the case.

As we continued to hang out, it became understood that I was indeed an American with very little Creole and very limited (and very mediocre) French. I wondered what they thought of me as a Black American coming to them. I even wondered if they were disappointed that I didn't know more about their culture even though I looked so much like them. I had (and still have) fear that not being more familiar with their culture would be offensive, but I was not exactly sure how to fix it.

I had a conversation about these thoughts with Benjamin, one of the RMI guys and a Haiti native. I was surprised to find out that many Haitians (including  Benjamin himself at one point) believed that the US was a place only for white people. They thought that the only people who could truly live and thrive in the US were European descendants. So when they see someone like me, a Black man, coming from the states, leading meetings and looking fairly healthy...it gives them hope about life outside of Haiti, and the potential for those of us with African ancestry.

While in Tiburon, I led a number of youth/young adult meetings. My goal was to inspire them to live for Christ and be the Church today while they are young. One of the guys who attended was named Harold. Harold is an artist and works in the Tiburon Children's school. After the meeting, he commented to Amy that he enjoyed hearing me speak. Amy pressed him for more specifics and his comment back to her was 'he looked like me'. It had not really dawned on me, but chances are the number of Black Americans who come in on missionary teams to this country is probably smaller than one would think. What an honor to connect with Harold in such a unique way.

I cannot believe I am gonna say this, and I hope this comes out okay. But as I continue to make trips to Haiti, I hope God uses the fact that I share a common ancestry with these people to be a point of contact and a source of hope. I pray that when they see me, they really see that they can do more than I have ever done. I hope that my Black face is inspiration for them to dream big and believe God that those dreams really can come true. Then maybe one day, they'll be able to inspire others who not only share ancestors but also nationality to trust the God who is able to do exceeding abundantly above all they could ask or think. All praise and glory to the Good God!

Being Sent Out

So I am quite convicted about a few things between my Haiti trip and hanging out with my Campus Ministry colleagues. One of the greater topics I am pondering right now is the ministry of sending people out. What follows is not a polished post, just my raw thoughts on the subject and some things the Holy Spirit is questioning me about:

- People leave churches and ministries all of the time and for a variety of reasons. In fact, in 5 years time the landscape of most American Churches usually change dramatically. Very few people join a church thinking they'll leave in 2 years, but we all know that it happens. What if, instead of doing all we can to keep people in one place for their entire lives, we focused on sending them out for the mission? It could be argued that this is closer to a biblical model of discipleship than a life long membership in the same church.

- One of the reasons we don't send people out is we don't want them to go. The fear is that if we release our best (and almost best) people to another mission, that we (personally and the organizations we build) will suffer because of it. However, it seems that particularly in our society, people tend to be nomadic by definition. That 'nomad' could be lack of commitment. But it could also be something else, something borne in their spiritual gifting. For instance, many of the apostles moved from place to place depending on the need and desire of the Spirit. But sending people out isn't great for our personal kingdoms and egos.

- Another reason we don't send people out is that we don't wanna go. I can imagine that when I walk up to some A218 leaders and say to them, 'I believe God is calling you to leave A218 to start or be a part something new (or something else) somewhere else,' that they could possibly feel like I am really saying, 'thanks for being around, but we don't want you anymore'. I attribute this miscommunication to living in a generation who already lacks strong family connection and therefore (expects and) receives their emotional support from their faith community. When the leader of that faith community (one of the primary conduits of acceptance and guidance) makes a statement like this, they feel a sense of rejection (that this generation is all too used to). I wonder if we are ever truly ready to be kicked out of the nest. Rejection is rough to deal with, but not fulfilling one's call has eternal ramifications.

Another reason we don't want to be sent out: it means we can't be a spectator. I am not convinced that the goal of church is that one will sit under one person's teaching for the rest of the lives. At what point does the student become the teacher? At what point does the disciple become a disciple maker? One argument that is usually made at this point is 'I don't think I am called to lead God's people.' Totally valid if you are thinking of being an elder in the UM Church, a missionary to Africa or similar...roles that require specific calls. But what must be answered by every believer is how will you actively engage the 'go and make disciples of all nations' (Matthew 28:19) and the 'you will be my witnesses' (Acts 1:8)? These statements do not appear to be reserved for a few, especially when you take into account the doctrine of 'the priesthood of all believers'.

Final reason (for today) I don't wanna send people out: it means that I must compel you to grow up. A baby can blame their mom ( in a sense) for being malnourished because that baby's sustenance comes directly from the mother. A child/teenager can't be forced to eat, but can expect (again, in a sense) that good food will be on the table. But an adult, at some point must come to a place where they not only live outside of the parent's home, and not only are able to eat their own food, but can make choices, purchase, prepare and consume the right foods (and know how much is best to consume). When I, as a leader, am already clear that my job is to send you out, I will be doing everything I can to make you as healthy and responsible for your own growth as possible...especially because eventually, you will soon be responsible for growing and leading others. We assume that all Christ-followers want to grow up, but this might not be the case.

Okay...one more. The reason I haven't left yet: I am not ready, I am afraid of being out there alone and I don't know enough. To be quick, name one leader in the Scriptures who felt (or appeared to be) equipped for the call of God on their lives? Yes, there is a responsibility on the part of leaders to prepare those who are following them. And yes, we should be sent out, and be careful about just leaving. But at what point, do we just take what God has given us and get on with it. Furthermore, when we stand before the Creator and say, 'the reason I didn't do what you told me to do in this life is because 'they' didn't tell me enough?' Not sure if that flies when He promises to be strong in our weakness and declares that he uses the foolish and simple to confound the wise.

Okay. I'll stop here. Again, raw thoughts...feel free to comment.

Haiti Reflection #2: My friend Amos

I went to Haiti for two reasons. 1) Because I cannot act as if I did not hear God tell me to go (and I have said it many times, I was not excited about going at first.) 2) I have a deep desire to see young adults all over the world inspired to be the Church today, make a positive impact on the planet and advance the kingdom. These two reasons in my spirit were enough to get me on the plane. I did not expect anything more than a confirmation of these two reasons. And as I write these reflections, I can honestly say they were confirmed.  However, these two reasons were not as compelling as they sound nor did I expect their confirmations to be. I could see God telling me to go to Haiti to expand my worldview (like prerequisites for a major in college) and sending me to the young adults in Tiburon in order to fulfill my general calling to lead this generation, regardless of location and culture. I was not expecting to have the moment I am about to describe.

On Saturday morning, we painted the Church. When I say we, I mean our team, the RMI guys (the organization we work with in Haiti), and a whole lot of men from Tiburon Church. All I can say about this event is that it felt like Church...no worship songs or message, but Church none the less. Who knew that a little yellow paint could bring people together the way that it did that morning? It makes me smile just thinking about it.

During the painting day, I met Amos. Amos is a rockstar...he just doesn't know it. I met him as we were painting. We were actually competing for the same spot as we were both just desperate to do something significant with our remedial painting skills. The amount of English that Amos knew was equal to the amount of Creole I knew. And we both stumbled around the little French we knew. So we just smiled and kept avoiding each other's painting space. When I finished, about to go find something else to do, I looked at him, smiled and said 'great to meet you'. He smiled and replied with 'ou', meaning yes. At that moment, I believe (cuz I am never quite sure) I heard the Holy Spirit say, 'Amos is why I brought you here to Tiburon'.

I will explain the significance of that moment in a second. But from that moment, every time I saw Amos (and we saw each other a lot), we had a regular exchange of 'ca va'  (meaning are you well and I am good). Other than that, we did not say much. Just a lot of smiling and fist pounding...but that was more than enough to develop a strong unmistakable bond of friendship. No matter what the event was, I looked for Amos. And if Amos was in the room, he always found me first. I kind of got used to walking out of my bedroom in the morning and seeing him sitting outside...and I was told he was waiting there to see me. I was just as excited to see him. I spent a lot of time with Amos this week.

I'll be honest...I wanted Amos to come back to the states with me and be my 16th brother (you know I have 15 brothers and sisters). I wanted to bring him back to Jacksonville and show him everything I have ever seen. I wanted him to have the same inspirational experiences that have shaped me and challenged me to live a life of purpose. There is a call on this young man's life, but I know that his quality of life and lack of exposure will play a role in his inability to see it.  I made lots of friends in Tiburon this week...but none of them affected me like Amos. I will be coming back to Tiburon for many reasons, but primarily, so I can see Amos again. If you could see my boy smile, you would understand why.

It is great to go places because my job and calling demand it. Great to experience new cultures and deepen my understanding of the world. It is humbling to know that God often pulls us into His heart so that we can see the people that He loves so dearly. But all of these can easily be detached from real relationships and connections. After all, it is one more plane ride, one more cultural nuisance, and one more ministry opportunity.  But when you hear God say, 'I sent you here for a person', it changes everything. You have no idea how that one moment reshaped the entire context of my Haiti trip. How being sent for one person made all of the inconveniences almost unmentionable sacrifices. From now on, when I think of Haiti, Amos' smiling face will be the primary picture in my head. And whenever I hear about a hurricane in the Caribbean, political crisis or civil unrest in the country, the prayers will become very specific. 'Jesus. take care of Amos, and give him the opportunity to be all that he can be for the glory of Your Name'.

I cannot wait to see Amos again, and I am gonna work hard and pray hard that it happens sooner than later. Praise the Good God!

Haiti Reflection #1: Bondye: The Good God

Most of the worship songs we heard during our time in Haiti were sung in Creole. It was pretty cool to be left with only my smile, my rhythm, and my clapping to express worship to God. (I get so used to using my voice that I forget that true worship requires so much more than that.) One of the songs we heard often was a much more Haitian version of 'All Hail the Power of Jesus Name'. They added a pretty cool chorus in the middle of the hymn that, whenever it was sung, always seemed to lift the church to a higher level of praise. The tune was memorable, but again, not knowing the language I was never able to sing with the rest of the church. This special section of the song was apparently in a vernacular that was difficult for even our translators to convert into English.

Thanks to Amy Long, I was able to pick up a few words. One of the words in the song was Bondye, which is translated 'God'. The literal translation is 'Good God' (bon meaning good, Dye meaning God). It isn't that they are consciously adding 'good' to His name. But it does seem to be implied that for the Haitian people, this God is by nature good and the 'Good God' is worthy of that acknowledgment. I later learned that this is also true for other sayings such as 'Good-God bless you' when you sneeze, and 'my family is fine thanks to Good-God.' If you knew the plight of the Haitian people, then you might guess as to why I think this is such an amazing thing.

It is one thing to acknowledge that God is inherently good when your life is well, good. It is a whole other thing to have reasons to be less than happy about your existence and yet sing with joy 'I adore Good-God!. The conditions of normal Haitian life are hard to describe because in many ways, words will not explain it. I am not sure if I could accurately portray the scene of children bathing in a river with pigs, knowing that just a few steps away the same river is being used as a sewer and a washing machine. I am still trying to understand how a few days of rain can literally wipe a village in Haiti off the map.  The majestic mountains and breath-taking ocean views of this land are always overshadowed by the lack of development in the townships, the sense of 'survival by whatever means' mentality, and the lack of hope and joy in the eyes of the people. That is, until they get to church where the people sing 'All glory to Good-God, I worship Good-God!'...their hands are up in the air, smiles on the faces, and voices of young and old are loud. In spite of the harsh reality, the members of Tiburon Church must declare that their God is good. He is good, not because their lives are good, but because He is good.

I wouldn't blame our friends in Tiburon if they did attribute God's goodness solely to their current state of living (and therefore would have a problem declaring that He is good). This is the primary way we sense that God is being gracious and kind...when things work out and right things are made wrong. It is the reason we go to impoverished locations and do more than just talk about Jesus. The Scriptures over and over again encourage us to add action to our faith and sweat to our confession, because this kind of living reveals the compassion and love of God. So don't get me wrong...I do not believe that the idea of 'Bondye' supersedes our need to partner and support our Haitian friends in every way possible.

But it cannot be denied that their worship is deeper and much more rooted in who God is than in what God does. It stands to reason that their faith could possibly be, as the Scriptures say in the letter to the Hebrews, the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen. Quite possibly, the lack of education and contact with the outside world has not kept the Haitian people from seeing God's presence among them beyond the material manifestations. I want that kind of faith and foundation in my worship. I wanna be able to confess daily, regardless of what my life looks like, that my God is good...inherently and eternally. All glory and all attention to the Good God.

Haiti Reflection #4: Perspectives

Priorities always seem to change on the mission field. There are lots more situations and circumstances that fall into the 'not the biggest deal in the world' category when you are hanging out in the countryside of poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. And there is always a desire to bring those 'mission field values' back home and integrate them into everyday life. There seems to be something compelling about living a simpler life of servant-hood. I definitely felt this...and I am currently discerning which values function best in the context of Haiti and which values should be more than a memory for my daily life.

One value that I need to hang onto is this: NO MORE SPECTATOR CHRISTIANITY. That phrase rang true in my heart during our trip. Part of the reason is that I was encouraging the young adults to be the church, not just come to church. But greater than that, I thought about the various issues that come up in the church community...the issues that I have with the American church (including my denomination and my church), the issues that others have with church leaders (including myself, those I lead and those that lead me). Again, all of those conversations feel different when you are using out-houses and sleeping on other people's thin mattresses.

Tuesday morning of the trip was my self-imposed Sabbath. I wasn't going to do anything but rest and reflect until lunch. Just before I begin to rest, I got into a conversation with one of my team-mates about some tense situations back home. These were stories that I carry around with me daily, still learning how to move on, trust God to be the Savior of the world, and praying that healing and understanding will come sooner than later. My team-mate did not know it, but the conversation tore me up (as it always does). Couple that with the weight of being in devastating poverty and trying to inspire eager young adults who do not even own personal bibles  to be the Church...my Sabbath was not pretty at all. And for about 2 and 1/2 hours, I just mourned, physically ached and mentally begin to shut down. It was good that God ordained very few people to be around me during this time.

And then about 11am, (I think) the Holy Spirit begin to remind me of what I was doing in Haiti. The Holy Spirit brought the faces to my mind...Amos, Obenson, Rudolph, Alexandria, Evelyne - the next leaders of Tiburon Church. He reminded me of the 30 or so young adults who came to the first meeting that seemed to break through something spiritually oppressive and replaced it with a hope for young adult ministry that did not seem to exist in Tiburon before that point. He reminded me that I was there to be a spark for their ministry and movement. And basically (in great Vanetta - my mom - fashion) explained the difficulty of being a spark underneath the weight of the past. I had to get up and leave the irreparable past in the hands of Jesus and move into the irresistible future with Him (via Oswald Chambers).

One of the things that keeps us in the pews are the unresolved and unsettled conversations. In a perfect world, we would have the words, the courage, the forgiveness and the conversations that are usually needed for closure. In a perfect world, closure would be given to all parties involved, not just to those who had the last word or who stood their ground. But this is not a perfect world yet. And while I am all about conflict resolution (believe it or not), Haiti taught me one thing...it is the enemy that wants us to stay in the pews and he will use whatever he can to leave you there. It takes faith to move past the irreparable into the future. It takes courage from heaven to move past the 'left unanswered'. And the reason why the enemy wants us to stay in the pew...because then we'll never be the spark that could be freedom and hope to someone else.

What is keeping you in the 'pew'? What person or what moment is giving you permission to not be actively involved in the kingdom? Who knows...what if the moment you moved past the hurt (which is common for all of us) was the moment that someone else experienced freedom?

The enemy would love to keep you in the pew. And I personally don't really want to give him the satisfaction of one more spectator moment.

About Haiti

About Haiti

A week ago tonight (the night I wrote this post), I was in Tiburon, Haiti finishing up a farewell service with our sister church.  I am still trying to process what exactly happened during my Haiti trip and what my experience is going to mean for me in the future. I was trying to communicate to some campus ministry colleagues about the trip and just could not find the right words. There are a few things that I know. I know that I have to get back there soon. I also know that God has broken my heart and stimulated my mind towards the global mission of reaching young adults. It remains to be seen how this trip (that I so did not want to go on) will continue to affect my outlook on things. One thing is for sure...my perspective on a few things has changed.

Over the next couple of days, I will be posting reflections from my time in Haiti. Hopefully, it will give you all who are interested a glimpse of what God did in me and around me during our time in Tiburon. I am sure that these few reflections are only the beginning of a new chapter in my life. I did not want to believe the folks who went to Haiti before me...that it would change my life. And those who know me well know that I would never want anyone to have the satisfaction of predicting something like this. But the truth is, Haiti messed me up...ruined me for anything less than the dream that God has for the young adults in South Haiti. I am looking forward to the future that God has for me, the ministry and community I have the privilege of leading, and for the young adults in South Haiti. Thanks be to the Good God.

Derrick

Loving Jesus

There is an interesting conversation between Jesus and Peter in John 21:15-19 (you should read it).

Often I'll ask myself the question, 'do I love this person or that person?' And if I say yes (and usually I do), I'll follow it up with the question, 'how does that person know you love them?' The second question leads into all kinds of mental conversations. Lately, I have pondered the idea that if my son (who doesn't live on earth yet) wants my permission to swim in the ocean but he doesn't know how to swim, how do I love him in that moment and will he have the capacity to interpret my 'no Derrick IV, you can't swim in the ocean' as love. Our culture tells us that true love can be discerned in a couple of hours, but we all know that life is not like that. I am resolved to the belief that true love...romantic, platonic, collegial, and otherwise can only be observed and discerned over time. So then the passage in John...

Jesus asks Peter, 'do you love me?' Of course, Peter says back, ' Yes Lord, you know I love you'. And who wouldn't say that to a man who just conquered death and had a fish breakfast right in front you? All who call themselves Christ-followers and possibly those who are inquiring about Jesus being God would join Peter in the 'Yes Lord, I love you.' So then Jesus' follow-up is that much more interesting...

For Jesus, it seems, the proof that Peter loves Him, is taking care of, feeding and tending His sheep. Does Jesus have the right to demand proof of Peter's love for Him? Aren't the words enough? Not to mention the last 3 years of life Peter lost following Jesus and the emotional trauma that Peter is still dealing with from the last week of events (Palm Sunday, Passover, Denial and Crucifixion). Hasn't that been enough proof and time to show that Peter loves Jesus?

I imagine that there is so much more hanging out in these verses. But I think the lesson is staring each one of us in the face. If you say you love Jesus, how does He know it? Who have you cared for, fed or tended with the deep understanding that it is out of and because of a love for Jesus?

PAUSE: This is the moment that some of us will be reminded of pastors and leaders who said they loved Jesus but didn't tend to our needs, care for us when needed and left of starving for discipleship and attention. That is a valid conversation, but not at this moment. It would be one thing if Peter was saying this to one of the other disciples, or if this was a letter from Paul. But this is Jesus talking to Peter, and consequently, Jesus talking to us. To deflect the question on someone else who didn't do their job is to act as if Jesus isn't asking you, 'do you love me?' This is a conversation that no matter how much church hurt you've experienced, you can't bring excuses. This is a pivotal conversation that you must have with Jesus. UNPAUSE.

So the question is before you. Do you love Jesus? How does He know it?

The beautiful thing about this passage is that Jesus is not calling Peter to answer for the past. He is actually pushing Peter into His future. 'Peter, this is how you will continue to show your love for me' in a sense. So hey...no beating yourself up over the past. His sacrifice and love for us covers a multitude of sins. With all of that in mind, how now will you live?

So again, Do you love Jesus? If you do, how will you continue to show it?

Finally, there is that looming question, 'so do I just keep pouring out...feeding, tending and caring for everyone else, even if there is no one doing that for me?' (At least that is the question I am always asking). Again, totally valid and totally loaded. We can't forget that God's love for us is actually more powerful and fueling that anyone else's on earth. You are actually stronger than you know, because of the power at work within you. Not that we don't need people, but we might need God a little more than we need people. And that often is the line that keeps many of us out of the ministry...the call to be primarily dependent on God in Christ for what we need to be who we are called to be. And in my experience, the more I trust Jesus, the more energy and strength He gives...both by the Spirit, and oddly enough, by His people.

So I encourage you to sit in Peter's seat, and allow Jesus to ask you that simply difficult question. Faith is actually leading you to have the conversation. And at that point, Jesus knows that you love Him because you were willing to have it.

Love the life you losing...

Church Shopping is not biblical...

From what I can tell, the idea of church shopping (and hopping) is not biblical. It isn't that the idea and/or the action is anti-biblical. It actually is not in there...it didn't exist for the first generations of Christ-followers. The New Testament Church didn't have to deal with the issue of church shopping because for their context, there was only one church...one universal body of believers represented in localized communities. There was fall out, boring sermons, people feeling left out, false doctrine, sexual immorality and all the things that push us to find new churches. But the answer for the early church was not to start going to the new church down the road, because there wasn't one. In many cases, New Testament believers were more concerned with being carried off to prison and being malled by lions than being a part of the most relevant faith community.

If you did start a new church, you started that new church not down the road, but in another city where the gospel wasn't being preached and Christian community wasn't available. And the encouragement of the scriptures, especially Paul's writings, was to focus on unity, like-mindedness, avoiding judgment and not forsaking the assembling of yourselves together.

It seems to me, that Church shopping and hopping is actually a construct of a consumerist culture...a society that offers Christian options for worship. There are several pros and cons to this development in the Western culture. And I am not making a judgment on that development in this post. But I would advise those who find themselves shopping for a church or hopping from one to another to be careful how they use the scriptures to validate such actions. We have to always be careful how we treat the scriptures in our society...21st century Americans live under an entirely different set of assumptions about the world than the writers of the Bible did.

So, if church shopping and hopping is not necessarily biblical, does that change the conversation that starts, 'what church should I be a part of?

And feel free to post comments and disagreements about this posting...I would be shocked if those reading didn't have an opinion on this subject.

D

I'm late for the Midnight Study!!!

For you have need of endurance, so that when you have done the will of God you may receive what is promised. Hebrews 10:36

Just a quick thought before I head to midnight study at UNF. So many of us are waiting on God to do what we believe He is going to do in our lives. But I wonder how many times we wait for the promise to actually do what God wants us to do.

I hate to admit it...but my mode of operation is, God when you do it, I'll do it. I love the challenge in the above scripture. There is a link between my obedience and receiving what was promised. And if the promise in my life is delayed, I must ask myself, 'am I doing the will of God in my life'.

The 'will of God' is a big term. The details always look different in our lives. But I think it can come down to about 6 thoughts for all of us:
     - Love God
     - Love your neighbor
     - Forgive your enemies
     - Love mercy
     - Seek justice
     - And walk humbly with God

I can be honest and say that at any given moment, at least 5 of those 6 points are not at work in my life on some level. And there is why I need endurance. Because when (not if) God does bless me, I'll need those 6 actions to contain the blessing. I mean really...name me one blessing that doesn't require one of those 6 qualities.

So my encouragement to all the readers of this blog is this...wait patiently, but wait faithfully. Do those things which you know God wants you to do. Stop doing those things God doesn't want you to do. And if you are confused, start with those 6 above qualities. You'll be able to enjoy the blessings of the future so much more.

Love your life...
D